SENECA VALLEY ACES PROGRAM
"The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
10 Things Parents Can Do to Help Their College- Bound Students
Resign as Manager
Most parents are used to "helping" their kids navigate all aspects of life. This can be a challenge as your student prepares to enter college. It is extremely important to help your child develop their independence and learn to self advocate while you are still able to help them manage.
A good example is allowing your student to call colleges for clarity on any questions they have but staying close to give prompts and support.
The ACES Program community includes students, faculty, staff, alumni, and—of course—parents and family members!
While the information on our website is meant for the families of our students as much as the students themselves, we’ve provided a page especially for you, with information that may be useful as your son, daughter, or family member in the ACES Program.
Time Management
This will probably be your child's first time away from home for an extended period and with so much autonomy. It is important to sit with your child and have them create a calendar that provides some structure so they can see their class schedule and understand how to build in a healthy school/life balance.
Getting a student to manage school, homework, and study time is vital early on. They will not have the same learning curve as they did in High school to accommodate to their new surroundings. As they move into their adulthood it is important for your child to understand the expectation of the larger world around them and how it requries them to be more personally responsible.
Manage Your Fears
What are the things that concern you about this process? It is imperative to discuss some of your reservations with your student, espeically if the concerns revolve around their preparedness to leave the area or maturation level to be on their own.
It may help to talk to a neutral party or a parent who has experienced this process before to ease the tension. These conversations can be difficult, but necessary as your student prepares to be more autonomous.
Financial Plan
Make sure you are discussing finances early on with your student. It is important to paint a realistic picture about what you can afford to give to support this venture or what they will need to contribute. This conversation should should not include the idea of scholarships just yet. Try to figure out the bottom line and that way if scholarships are obtained it is a bonus.
This again is about how much you and your student can afford to pay for his/her tuition (minus grants, loans, scholarships). You will also need to think about whether or not you are willing to take out a loan or refinance to help pay for your child's education. No, is a legitimate answer. The idea is not to go into debt.
College Visits
Picking a college is not an easy task. There are many things to consider. One of the best ways to help make up your student's mind is to take them to visit the schools of interest, especially if it is out-of-state. Some schools have actual visit programs where your child will be partnered with a Freshman for an over night visit. During they get to experience the food, dorm life, social environment, as well as attend classes with that student. There is usually a parent portion to that program as well. These are great opportunities for a fee waiver as most schools waive fees for visiting them. Have some questions ready for the tour and always ask some random students, that aren't being paid to sell the place, about their experience, likes/dislikes, etc.
Start talking
College is a culture shock!!! *As a parent, you will no longer have access to teachers, grades, financial data (even though you pay the bill), student whereabouts, or attendance.
It is important that you start dialoguing with your child now about keeping you abreast of what's happening with them.
*To learn about the FERPA click here
and encourage students to be self sufficient. Self advocacy. Time management
The "We" Complex
It is important that parents are able to enjoy the college application and preparation process with thier student(s). However, there is a fine line that is often crossed when the decisions of the student goes from 'I' to 'we'. This new phase is not the time for parents to live vicariously through their children-making every decision, picking their classes, etc.
This can show up without intention by putting the pressure on your child to attend your alma mater, pledge a specific society, or choose the major you think is best. Remember "we" don't need to register for classes and "we" don't need an internship. But WE are trying to cultivate independent young men and woman!
Applications
There is much debate on just how many applications a student should fill out. Here in the ACES program at SVHS, students are encouraged to fill out at least 5 applications. It all boils down to a few factors:
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What can you afford (instate vs. out-of-state tuition?
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What distance is comfortable for your student/family?
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Can your student learn in a large classroom setting or do they need more 1:1 attention?
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Can your student get a fee waiver to apply to that school?
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Does the school have your student's intended major?
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What kind of financial aid does the school give out?
Community College is OK!
Not just community college, but vocational school as well. This is usually a harder pill for parents to swallow but it is important to be realistic about what kind of student you have. This is not just about grades but also financial need.
Every student is not destined to go to Yale but every student is destined to be GREAT---their path may not be "conventional" or what you think it should look like. Keep an open mind.
College is about Exploration!
It is not vital that student choose a major before entering their undergraduate education. Actually, going to college with some ideas and an open mind will help students fare better in their experience. The national average of the amount of times a student changes their major is 3. This is due to a few things:
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Countless possibilities
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Their minds are still developing at 17, 18, & 19.
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Rapid changes in technology
The President of Goucher College gave a speech at one of their open houses and mentioned that half of the jobs the current student population will occupy haven't even been thought of yet. This is so true. Think about how the job market has changed since you were graduating high school. The world is definitely our student's oyster. This is the perfect time to let them explore and figure out what thrills them and how they can make a living working in their passion.